A lesson I’ve recently learned is never take for granted the people you are blessed with in life because you never know who is going to catch you until you fall.
The last day of my grade nine exams, I rushed out of class feeling exhilarated. While all my classmates were celebrating the end of the school year I was packing for my first Reining competition. After seven years of horseback riding, six years of competing in small club competitions, and months of preparation for me and my horse Sparky I was finally going to compete in a provincial wide horseback riding competition.
I will admit I was nervous nevertheless my excitement greatly overwhelmed my anxiety; since last April I had been training my horse to rein. Reining is a discipline of horseback riding where precision is the main objective. I learned how to spin faster, ride better, and most of all perform a sliding stop; I could not wait! Little did I know that by competing I would face the greatest personal challenge I had ever encountered.
That first competition took place in Kemptville, Ottawa and the ride was long but I spent it among friends and I cannot remember feeling happier. It was not until that night, while I was warming up for my class the next morning that Sparky started to buck. At first it only happened occasionally, but soon every step was punctuated with a retort. It kept progressing and my calm demeanor faltered, by the time my trainer could come help me I was nearly in tears I was so frustrated.
It was then that I realized that those nerves that had been hidden beneath my excitement had returned to haunt me, and as sensitive as he was Sparky was receiving these signals from me. I cannot even begin to describe how embarrassed, devastated, or frustrated I was, not only had I been the one to cause the problem but I had myself nearly in tears trying to fix it. However, as she has done numerous times before my trainer came to my rescue. She got on Sparky, and my fears were confirmed when he did not buck.
The rest of the shows that summer followed a similar pattern. My nerves ran rampant and if I wasn’t crying going into the show ring, I was crying inside it because Sparky just kept bucking. Some shows were better than others, sometimes I fought with my fear until I was calm enough that I was not riding a bucking bronco but it seemed that my nerves just kept reappearing. My self confidence dropped every time I left the show ring with a zero, and I became steadily more was disgusted with myself. Not for the scores I received, but because I went from someone who had enough patience to work through a problem to someone who cried every time things became difficult.
Nevertheless, every time I came out crying or was so frustrated I could barely contain myself there was someone there helping me through it. My trainer, Joanne, my parents, and all my friends were invaluable to me. Each one offered advice or a personal story, sometimes even pulled me off my horse to calm me down before I went into the show ring. Even people I had met only this year competing and acquaintances that had seemed distant became my best companions and advisors. It was because of them I made it through last summer, and I do not think I could ever thank them enough.
I will not claim that in one summer I discovered and conquered my vicious nerves. On the contrary I am still battling them, but I now know without a doubt that I will always have those people who care about me supporting me through all the difficulties. I know that everyone has faults and it’s how you face them that make you an individual. That horses are extremely sensitive, and the best aspect about humanity is that there is always someone willing to pull you off your horse when you are in tears.
Just Ranting,
Rose
